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No Looking Back

No Looking Back

I have sat down to write this blog post at least half a dozen times.  I have so many words in my head, but I can’t seem to get any of them out fully formed.  I feel like I am treading water.  Stuck in a place where I am alive but not living.  A place where it is hard to talk and breathe at the same time.  There is this moment after a trauma.  This moment when you realize that your life can never be the same.  It’s the realization that no matter how badly you want things to stay the way they were, they can’t.  Because something has happened that has drastically changed your world and it can’t be undone.  No amount of wishing or denying or grieving can put things back to the way they were before. And part of this moment is also the realization that things are going to be really hard for a...

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Why Now?

Why Now?

  This site started coming together more than 5 months ago. I took my time setting it up. I wasn’t sure it was a path I wanted to go down. I questioned myself and my motives. I thought, what if no one looks at it? What if everyone looks at it but no one likes it? What if someone finds out that it is my site? The site was nearly complete by the beginning of February. But again, I hesitated. I was too busy. School vacation would be here soon, and both my husband and I had big work deadlines. The timing wasn’t right.  And then the pandemic came. And suddenly my whole sphere of being changed. Everyone’s spheres of being changed. And overnight there seemed no longer to be space for mental health issues, or trauma, or triggers. But my trauma-baggage didn’t go away with the arrival of...

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