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all i want to do is share his name. i want to let the world know who he is. so much money on therapy, so much emotional damage and irreplaceable anger, sadness, resentment. how do i make him pay?

its been 3-4 years. i am still affected by it. i cannot help but dream with him or just let him take over me as he did when i was 14 and he was 17, when i was 15 and he was 18. statuary rape, rape, verbal/physical abuse, grooming, manipulation, gaslighting and harassment. Eating disorders and hard relationships with people, food, school, bed, couch, music, life.

how will he pay?

how is he still out there, getting to be happy without guilt and i am here, feeling sadness, shame, angriness and disgust at myself?

how does he get out of this easily?

why did he played with my body, my person, my life?

i want to share his name

i don’t know where or how, yet he hides mine

he plays with it and stains it with his disgust

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